My sweet girl on her 4th Birthday
Alivia,
You are 4 years old today! I can’t believe it and I wish I could turn the clock backwards to the first time I held you in my arms. The first time I laid my eyes on you I couldn’t stop the stream of tears that were flowing and the amount of love I had in my heart, because of you I know the true meaning of “Love at first sight.” I’ll never forget the way you smelled, your squishy little cheeks, your beautiful full lips, your head full of hair, and the peach fuzz that covered your shoulders and ear lobes. You were smaller than I expected and even swaddled up, you felt so fragile and breakable to me. I look at you now and it is so hard to imagine that you were ever so tiny.
You’re silly, you’re quick to pick up on things, you have my sensitivity and that is becoming more and more evident as you grow. You get so excited about things, and the moment something disappointing happens – you’re crushed – with explosive and dramatic, yet very sincere tears. It’s endearing. You are just a growing, independent girl, who thankfully still enjoys cuddles with her mama and that just melts my heart. You love to listen and dance to music. You learn the words of songs so quickly and I love hearing you quietly sing or when I catch you dancing when you think I am not watching.
You, my little love, have a mind of your own (Possibly another trait of mine you have). You are teaching me a lot about depending not on my own strength or wisdom for mothering you. I am learning that while it is my duty to teach, correct and lead you, I cannot determine who you will be. Don’t be confused – I am smitten with you. Often times you are the most delightful creature [that I think] has walked the earth. Other times, it is a challenge to cause you to do anything that is not your own idea. But while that makes my job as a mother much more challenging, it reminds me that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and that I must be wise and prayerful as I raise you.
You are my heart and soul. Since the moment you came into this world, you have had an effect on mama that is impossible to put into words. You have smiled since day one and I love the way you go after everything in life with such flare and optimism. I hope that you always allow your wonderful self to shine. Do not let others tell you how to act or who to be. Do not let others let you waiver from your own path. Above all else, do not let anyone make you feel anything other than amazing. You are intelligent, sincere, empathetic, giving, creative, and oh so beautiful. Know that you have been blessed with everything you need in life to succeed and find happiness. This world is an amazing and challenging place. It is yours to savor, navigate, and enjoy. Live each day with a sense of gratitude and life will honor your heart. You may face some struggles that seem unfair, but don’t let it get you down. Fight. Be as fearless forever as you are today. Remember that mama loves you unconditionally and that I’ll always fight for you in any way I can. I want so many things for you and I know in my heart that you will have them, and so much more. Always remember how loved you are. You have no idea how many people have prayed for you and are just as moved by your presence. I will hold your hand, cheer you on, pick you up, and watch you discover all that it means to be you. It is clear that you have so much to offer this world. There has always been something so special about you. You’re a once-in-a-lifetime miracle that we are all just so lucky to have met. You’ll hear me say a million times in your life how I never thought I’d have a daughter. God knew better. He gave you to me for a reason. I needed you to teach me things that I wouldn't otherwise have been able to learn.
You have been the sweetest gift to me in so many ways, baby girl. In this life, I hope I am able to give you half of what you've given me… but I am not sure that’s even possible. I love you and could not be more proud of my 4 year old!
Happy Birthday, sweet girl. You light up my life.
Love,
Mama
